Calvinists

It has long been my fondest desire to contact Bill Watterson, author of the famed Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Along with Gary Larson's Far Side and sporadic adventures with Prince Valiant, Watterson's work inspired my grad-school mind and encouraged me to take up my pencil to draw.

Years later, I am writing more than I illustrate, but my love for Spaceman Spiff is no less. So I looked up Mr. Watterson to say "thank you." In doing so, I discovered the truth that my parents were too gentle to reveal: the man is a real-life recluse. A wikipedia search laundry-listed the people Watterson has turned down for interview, but in a fit of optimism I went over to Andrews McMeal Publishing, where The Complete Calvin and Hobbes is being published. To my horror, their contact page solemnly explained, "we are sorry to report that at Mr. Watterson's request, we do not forward such correspondence his way for the sheer fact that he would be unable to keep up with the overwhelming demand."

Well phooie. I am still praying about whether I should send something on the off chance that it might break through, or that at least it could bravely return, branded UNDELIVERABLE. But until I screw my courage to the sticking place, here is my letter:

Dear Mr. Watterson,
You probably do not remember me. Some years ago I sat down on the couch with my mom and she read to me a story about Spaceman Spiff. It was funny, even though I did not understand all the words, and I decided to write to you. So I dictated a letter, which my mom wrote out for me, duly signing it, at my request, "your little Calvin man." So, now that I know how to write myself, I thought I'd drop you a line. Thanks for Calvin and his tiger, they were sources of years of entertainment!

Sincerely, Maxism